These last few months, since August really, my writing has declined because of physical health issues. I have been unwell with a deteriorating left shoulder. If you are able-bodied, that is not so much of a problem. However, when you are in a wheelchair, it is a huge problem. Think of it like a walking person having hip or knee problems. Therefore not much productive at all has happened in these eight months.
I was on some very hard medications which made the situation feel a lot worse, rather than better. These medications are supposed to be mid-range pain relief, but instead had a detrimental effect on my mental and emotional health, hurt my gut, my sleeping pattern and these painkillers are a big reason why I fell into a deep, dark hole of depression. There were nights so scary I thought I was not going to see the next day. Thank God I am still breathing - seriously! I was only on them for about eight weeks and have since vowed to myself and my family to never take that pain relief again.
Since recognizing a few weeks back this was a major contributor of my current issues, I have been looking at other sources of pain relief, without my GP, who prescribed me the other pain relief that made me feel terrible. I have now finally found some pain relief that relieves pain, is natural, legal and doesn't make me sick, physically or emotionally. As a result, I am feeling much better internally and am starting to think about going back into the real world and dealing with people soon. It won't be easy, but God is with me and will give me the grace and wisdom to help me.
For those that know me, I want to make one thing clear and that is I am not at uni studying. However, I am still technically in a role as a youth leader at the church I attend, Metro Church. And that brings me around to the title of this blog: It's Okay. I can't remember when it was, but my pastor's daughter, Rebekah, preached a message a while back about how it's okay. Even when you don't know what is going on at all, it's okay. Even when it seems like all hell is breaking loose and has you as it's target, it's okay. Why? Because God knows and if God knows, it's okay. Whatever you are facing at the moment, Christian or not, know that it is okay. The sun is shining, you are breathing and Jesus loves you, whether you know it or not. In closing, a quote from my favourite band, Switchfoot: "All that's in my head is in your hands." - Home by Switchfoot
Giving up is not an option,