Wednesday, 14 September 2016

Fear is a powerful motivator

Today, September 14 2016 is a date that all of you should mark on your calendar. I know I will never forget this date anymore. Earlier today, I was told by my doctor that I have exceeded expectations for a blood test I had last week. He went on to mention that I do not require any more needles or medical appointments for six months. For someone who has needles in their top five fears in life, that is a huge thing to hear. I couldn't help but hug my doctor in that moment. Thankfully he didn't see it as inappropriate and he understood why I did that.

Over this last eight months, I have had a diabetes and anaemia diagnosis (anaemia is no longer an issue), as well as mental issues such as depression, anxiety and PTSD. Just to try and give you an idea, in January and February, I was in medical appointments three times per week. These last eight months have been dedicated to doing whatever I have needed to do in order to get my health back to a place where I'm smiling at life again and physically strong enough to do what I need to do. I am happy to say I am now at that point. Yes, there were definitely a few points along the road where I have thought the process of healing was not worth it because let me tell you, recovery is a hard road, whether it's from physical or mental health issues. When you're dealing with both, it's like standing in the middle of a freeway at peak hour.

I am so grateful beyond words to my GP. For the first time in my life, I have a GP who understands all of my health issues and doesn't belittle them or feel overwhelmed by them, yet knows how to help me deal with them. He showed me where to find hope when I didn't know where to look. He gave me tools to get myself out of the hole I was in at the beginning of the year and through those things and God's grace, I got out. At no point have I gone on medication for my mental health. The only medication I am on is a tablet for diabetes control which is pretty good right now.

As for the diabetes, it's simple really. As I mentioned above, needles are a huge fear for me personally. Therefore I have come to the conclusion this year that fear is a powerful motivator. The day I was diagnosed with diabetes, I literally gave away all chocolate, lollies and soft drinks to other people, who were only too happy to take them away. Now, whenever I go near a confectionery section in a shop, I see needles and back right away. That's what I mean by fear being a powerful motivator. Far too often, people focus on the negative side of fear. However, I have found that fear can definitely have a positive effect on our lives.

While the mental health isn't perfect, it is definitely a lot better than it was. Each day now I'm going outside for fresh air and sun (weather permitting), journalling, reading good jokes or watching something funny on TV or Netflix, taking care of my physical health as much as I can and eating and sleeping properly. Also, each day I write a list of places to be or house jobs that need to be finished that day. That forces me to get up and take on the day, however I may feel physically or mentally.

Anyway, I believe murder-ball in the paralympics is on soon, so I better leave it there. Apologies also for the gap between posts. Life gets crazy busy sometimes.

Giving up is not an option,